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Season 6, Episode 5

Our feelings have been outsourced at the following link.

The Mass Effect controversy endures, but it looks like there might be enough time before the new endings are released for hurt feelings to mend, or for sharp memories to fade.  There’s no forgetting the embarrassing furor, and there’s likely nothing BioWare can do to mend the damage done to their image – time and the fickle memories of the internet are their best hope for that.  For most of us it’ll never do to dwell on an ancient, weeks-old disappointment.  We want now what we’ve always wanted: the next great game.  For as long as there’s nothing else to demand my attention, I might find space in my heart for a little more hate.  But I’m sure that somewhere, a few weeks from now, deep in my cups, deep in the second act of Diablo 3, or ankle-deep in Max Payne’s bullet casings, I’ll wonder what the hell I was so torn up about in the first place.

 

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Season 6, Episode 4

The entire series is ruined at the following link.

I really wanted to engage the topic of Mass Effect on our own terms.  I imagined we’d compare choices and consequences and how they sometimes failed to materialize, then move on to highlights and lowlights of narrative and character development, losses and gains of affection, plot twists, that sort of thing.  We’d wonder why so few words were being written about the multiplayer and why so very many were still being written about the ending.  We’d have our own opinions and insights on the travesty, but we’d feel better after having a whine and could focus in the long run on the details of what made the Mass Effect universe a place worth visiting.  All I can say is we talked about it.  We talked about it and I feel worse.

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Season 6, Episode 3

We’ve got one foot on the bandwagon at the following link.

It’s unfortunate we weren’t able to finish Mass Effect 3 by the time of this recording.  We’re always anxious to be a part of the full conversation, sure, but our worry is that the internet is being a real sonofabitch about this game, and it’s doing everything it can to spoil the surprise for anyone who hasn’t seen it to the end.  There’s some degree of difference between how we felt on the show and how we’re feeling at the moment, and we’re trending more towards the positive every day.  I’m told this will change abruptly at the end.  Maybe that’s a fact – it wouldn’t be the first time an ending has crushed our spirit.  But neither, if wrong, would it be the first time we’ve disagreed with the rest of the (apparent) world.  I promise you many thousands of words on the subject the next time we get together.

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Season 6, Episode 2

We’re all a bunch of sluts at the following link.

This second episode is actually the first to be handed back to Kevin for fine-tuning and post-production.  It’s a thing he was pretty insistent about doing, and though I can’t see why, I’m awfully glad for his help.  So, on his behalf, the show is once again soliciting ideas for bumper content, intro/outro music, and any other formatting gubbins you think might enrich or enliven the experience.  Send thoughts or files to one of those places Scott mentions in our greeting and we’ll put it to good use somewhere, I imagine.

I’d like to think it isn’t necessary anymore for me to explain myself when I fly into a rage about this issue or that, but I can’t help feeling I may have Limbaughed the show otherwise.  So however things may sound, I don’t hate Tim Schafer.  I’m sure I hate something to do with him right now, or maybe it’s something to do with the internet and he’s standing just where I’d like to put my soapbox.  I think I said as much on the show, but there’s just no way I made myself clear.  If I hadn’t already sent the raw files out for editing, I’d temper the Double Fine bashing more than a little.  Though maybe it’s never as bad as it sounds in my head.  Maybe.

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Season 6, Episode 1

A very fresh show that has not been sitting around is available at the following link.

When you consider the full five-year run of our show, the lateness of this particular episode doesn’t seem quite so bad. Or am I wrong? We took some time here to examine our recording habits over the last several years, and it’s clear that our frequency has plummeted, though the raw hourly output has only slightly decreased. I suppose it’s fair then to predict that we’ll eventually produce a single seventy-two-hour episode, in the peak rumor season of some year down the road. Maybe that can be the live convention show Scott’s always going on about.

So, there are many thanks and congratulations inside, and some small amount of talking over the news. There are also some empty promises, some stupid ideas, and at least one really good story. But mostly there’s thanks, even though a lot of it is subtext. Our feelings are best expressed in the dialog, though, so we’ll leave you to it.

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The Something Frog Episode

This was the last episode under the old title format, and I honestly can’t say what it’s really meant to be named.  It had something to do with seven frogs, or maybe sudden frogs – whatever those might be – but I don’t remember, and I couldn’t quite make out what Scott was saying in the intro, and it’s too much effort to find the truth right now so to hell with it.  That’s very much the reason we’ve done away with the names and it’s just as well the last one should be a mistake.

This episode, unlike the last one, is long.  But because they’re both so goddamn old at this point, and because they’re the last of their kind, and even more because we’d like to forget the delay ever happened, they’ll be published together right this moment.  Hope that’s alright.

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The Sergeant Lipton Episode

This episode has been thoroughly fossilized since its disappearance late last year, but it’s yours if you want it.  It’s short, but we spent most of our time heckling the VGAs and that part of the recording went sour quick, so it was done away with at once.  At this point, we’re only acknowledging this episode for the sake of consistency.  You can expect to find it bundled in a special offer soon.

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The Father Figure Episode

We’re blowing the dust off this episode at the following link.

Yes, this is a painfully old episode.  There’s nothing that could be confused for a modern or contemporary topic inside.  It’s been so long, in fact, that you’re likely to have forgotten many of the classics we discuss; games such as Skyrim, Uncharted, and the Old Republic beta.  I think there’s been two whole Steam sales since this was recorded, so it was a crazy long time ago, I know.  Now we’re going to barf out everything we’ve had on hold for you in hopes of getting caught up with ourselves.

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The Belt Buckle Episode

We’re performing a critical function at the following link.

This episode is exceptionally long, and we’re going to go ahead and assume you’re alright with that.  It’s ridiculous how many quality games are available to play at the moment, and now is our time to enjoy this embarrassment of riches; to play as much of each wonderful game as we can, and hope that we’ve found something to add to the discussion when we’ve finished.  We’ve got a heavy mix of final thoughts and initial impressions inside, and we hope by now that a majority of listeners can stay past the spoilers and add their own voice to the conversation.

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The Bikini Pilot Episode

We’re scantily clad at the following link.

The first of our opinions on Arkham City are smeared over the bulk of this episode.  There’s some Dark Souls to be had, some nonsense about pandas, and John Carmack figures into the conversation somehow.  But our thoughts are with the Dark Knight just now.  It’s as good a time as any of us has had this year, but there’s a sense that it won’t satisfy every taste once we’ve all played our fill.  We, the hosts, will be of roughly the same mind, I imagine, but there are some sick people in this world, and I’ve heard rumors they liked the first game a bit more.  I can only hope they’re marginalized as effectively as I was regarding Max Payne, and that the inevitable third entry can follow the logical progression.

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The Brothel Orphanage Episode

We’re serving more than one master at the following link.

I’d should have accepted the virtue of hard games by now, but I’m still not sure of myself one way or the other.  Some of us have spent so much of our lives avoiding the painfully difficult that it seems unlikely we’d ever subject ourselves to it willingly.  Arjay makes a good case, of course, but it’s as dispassionate as ever, and I think it would be unfair of us to suggest that some of what we already love would be considered quite hard by another player.  The question always seems to be how someone can find the difficulty itself a prominent feature, or how an otherwise brilliant game could be ruined without it.  I’m suspicious of these claims, and I don’t expect to be convinced any time soon.

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The Wall Punch Episode

We make our own short cuts at the following link.

So, Human Revolution has those four endings that are crap – or maybe not so crap if one of your hobbies is to go on and on about what things mean when they’re in a video game.  There’s also that bit that leads up to the endings.  We feel pretty strongly about that as well.  And the girl.  Really, who thought that was the best way to handle things?  All of this is in the show, but there are no spoiler warnings, and it isn’t handled in one stretch as it should be, so you’re on your own for avoiding what you may not want to know.

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The Chubb Lane Episode

We’re mostly non-violent at the following link.

So, Deus Ex, right?  I know, we feel pretty much the same way.  Setting aside over ten years of bias and expectation can be difficult, but Human Revolution has a lot to offer for those who bother to try.  It may well be the best version of DX the world is capable of delivering anymore, which is a sadness.  But there’s plenty here to point the way toward what the future of gaming should have been.  We’ve got two hours of other unfinished opinions in this episode, and likely another several to go before we’ve had our fill.  With any luck, we won’t have to wait so long for something else so worthy of our time and attention.

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The Mouth Smoothing Episode

We speak no evil at the following link.

Well, that’s not really true, is it?  But it’s old evil in any case.  Ancient; nearly a month old.  And what good are month-old opinions of video games without an archaeologist around to provide context?  You could point and laugh, I suppose.  You could mock our primitive belief that EA might not have any footage of Battlefield 3 worth showing.  Maybe you’ll raise an eyebrow at our worship of the prophet Deus Ex, with a future-man’s full knowledge that he’d bring boss fights when he returned.  And how about all those games we swore we’d finish?  “How’d that turn out?”, you’ll ask.  About as well as you’d expect from a bunch of cavemen, honestly.

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The Mystic Pillow Episode

We’re trying to cushion the blow at the following link.

Which blow, we’re not exactly sure.  Maybe it’s the awful truth about Catherine, though it might be the awful truth about beer.  It might also be the inevitable, annual dread of the fourth-quarter.  Maybe it’s Origin.  Whatever it is, we won’t be held responsible for any misunderstandings, mispronunciations, overdrafts or backlashes.  We’ve got guilt enough as it is.